Worried that Rufus is too clingy! Help please!

[Susan]

Hi all,

First of all, thanks to everyone for being so friendly and nice! I feel quite at home here already!

I wanted to post a question about Rufus, to get some thoughts. I do have several books at home, and have been on the web looking at puppy training advice, but sometimes there is no substitute for speaking to people who have been there/done that!

I am worried that he is too clingy and may at risk of developing separation anxiety. I have really tried with him to assert myself as 'pack leader' and as much as I can I have tried to stick with the 'NILIF' ideas..so he has to sit before he is fed, before he is lifted up and cuddled, and before I play with his toys. I don't make any fuss about leaving or coming back to him. When we have left him in the house for short periods, we have snuck around the back, to listen, and he stops his whining/yowling in five minutes. So I don't think that's too much of a problem.

What I'm worried about, is that if we are all in the room, and I get up to go to the kitchen/bathroom he cries and whines and wants to chase after me - this is even if Paul is in the room with him. I have just tried to ignore this, but it is starting to worry me, as I feel it is getting worse, not better, and I would like to nip it in the bud before it becomes a real problem.

Sorry for the essay! Any advice gratefully received!

Susan xxx

[Magz]

Susan i would say Rufus is still very young and not long away from his litter mates. do you use a crate? if so gradually build up the time you leave him and only go back to him when he is quiet. We did this with Kiera and she doesn't whine as much when we leave the room. or you could try a distraction with him before you leave the room. but to be honest I wouldn't be overly worried as he is only a baby still

[marcella]

at only 9 weeks old he's still very much a baby as Margaret has said.
Keep doing what you're doing and he will become more settled.

A crate is a great idea. Dogs really feel secure in a crate and view them as their own personal space where they feel safe. This is a great option to introduce to a new puppy.

But in the meantime don't be overly concerned as he's still just new

[Susan]

I am so glad you guys have said that! I am just so worried about doing something in his early weeks that sets him up wrong! I am probably overly neurotic about it! Our last dog Ben, who is 15 now and who is still with my Mum was under socialised and over fussed as a pup, and this has resulted in nervous aggression and a fear of other dogs and strangers. I just don't want anything like this to happen with Rufus.

I think maybe that I am expecting too much of him, and should relax a bit and remember he is still just a baby! We have not been crate training him, but I think we will buy one of those soft kennels/crates and make that his bed. He is in our room just now, which we don't actually mind, but I suppose that if we want to reinforce his position in the pack, we should think of moving him into the spare room.

I think it is horrible for Paul, as he can be cuddling or playing with Rufus, and if I leave the room Rufus abandons him and cries for me!

Thank you!

[Magz]

Susan i wouldn't worry I am a bit like yourself too, Kiera now loves her crate but took us a good few weeks for her to stop whining at night, but you do get there. she still whines when we leave the room but the length of time is gradually becoming shorter, she is just 12 weeks old so I am not expecting her to stop just yet, but she doesn't when she is in her crate as she feels secure, Argos have got decent crates at the moment in there clearance offers.
I cant wait to meet your little one he sounds fab

[Karen]

Hi Susan, just like everyone said he is still a very young baby, I have to say crate was one of the best things I have ever bought, they look upon it as their den, it is a secure area to let them sleep in, I loved the fact if I was busy say making dinner I knew my pup was safe, I have 4 children and even though they were always told to close the front door accidents can happen, but with crate I knew pup was fine if I was busy, and then play time was more fun because I wasnt stressed out, it was puppy time, I also found it a great help with toilet training, because as soon as pup woke up it was straight into garden no problems. good luck and enjoy your baby...

[Enid]

When we got Mandy, our younger schnauzer, she would not let anything keep her from me if she thought I was going out of sight. We always used a crate, which is a great innovation, and soon she settled in the kitchen at night and when we were out.

They are very much "people" dogs and Mandy still follows me everywhere and if Chris comes home first she sits at the window to wait for me. It is their nature and makes them so loveable.

On the other hand, Jodie tends to be much more Chris's dog and the welcome he gets is slightly more enthusiastic than mine!!

Relax and enjoy your wee dog. You will have so much pleasure from Rufus - I guarantee it!
_________________
"My little dog - a heartbeat at my feet" - Edith Wharton

[Suzanne H]

Otto is like that - thinks being left in a room on his own is a crime against dogs.

he's fine when we leave the house as we keep exits and entrance very low key, he's got a crate and a kong and we leave the radio on. he always seems very sleepy on our return so I suspect he just sleeps.

At night, we had to endure 2 very long nights where he objected to being on his own in the kitchen and we just ignored him until he go the message (took FOUR hours) - but he's now in a routine. When we switch off the living room light he knows it's pee then bed. We also put a blanket over the crate.

We do still have an issue though when we're in the house - he barks and whines if left in the kitchen on his own, even in the crate. I don't let him follow me everywhere and he's not allowed up the stairs - basically because he falls down them and the bedroom is totally out of bounds (that's for activities that certainly don't involve him ie sleeping!)

And he gets too excited even if I've just left the room for 10 mins, so am going to try just ignoring him when I come back into the room till he calms down so he stops thinking he's made the return happen and it's a everyday occurrence like going to bed.

Also not to give him attention on demand all the time or wait till he's lying down and call him over for a cuddle.

It's very hard to not be affected by their pathetic looks and whines - but if you do respond, they're effectively training you.

[Enid]

I think we are again coming up against the "all dogs are very different" topic and we have to follow the ground rules to the letter at the outset until the dog's personality becomes apparent.

Some dogs will push their boundaries to the limit constantly, others will always conform and be happy to fall in line from the outset. Most, I suspect, are somewhere in between.

I am becoming envious of you folk with puppies - I'd love to have another. However, at the moment, it's not to be. I am constantly reminded that it is hard enough to find holiday cottages which take 2 dogs, never mind 3!!!
_________________
"My little dog - a heartbeat at my feet" - Edith Wharton

[kirsty]

There is nothing I can add Susan, you seem to be doing everything right and a crate is a great Idea.

Don't be worried that the pup is showing more dependence or favors you more than Paul, dogs tend to have 'a person' and if you are the provider of the food and exercise this only reinforces that dependence.

My dogs are older, and I have only had them a year, but they follow me around the house, even into the toilet, especially the black and tan. A dog behaviorist has told me that this is a bad thing that is shows that Bob thinks he is the pack leader and has to look out for me 24/7. I don't know? but they will let me lock them in a room when the door goes, and we were having loads of work done in the house and they were locked into the lounge for hours at a time for weeks while the workmen were in. Also they have no separation anxiety - neither dog has destroyed anything. So them wanting to follow you around does not necessarily mean they will suffer from SA.

[Janice]

Don't worry When Dale was little I worried because he DIDN'T follow me around! My first pup followed me everywhere. They're all different and all seem to turn out alright in the end. Just relax and enjoy
_________________
Janice and Dale

[Enid]